Falling Off the Wagon

So was I the only one who tanked after Christmas on their diet that was going extremely well?

I didn't make New Year's resolutions this year, besides getting healthier and being happier. However, between the stresses of January and February; weather, traveling, work, and other things I kind of lost myself. 

I fell off the wagon.

I'm committed to going back to the gym. I'm committed to my smoothies, and a hardcore diet for the next few weeks because I would love to feel like a goddess on my birthday which is just a few weeks away. I'm not expecting monumental changes, but I just want to feel better. Thankfully I still have time, and more time afterward to get ready for Summer.

One of the reasons I think I stopped was the overwhelming feeling I get when I go to the gym and I literally feel like I'm the only fat girl there. (Yes, I see you lady judging me on the elliptical.) Gyms aren't just for skinny people though, and sure, I see a big girl once in awhile but it's rare so I started panicking in the car one day and I haven't been back since.

The sheltered life has kicked me in the face, yet again. I don't want to be like this in this body forever though. It's overwhelming shopping for clothes, and all my other friends can wear whatever they want and I have to wear a potato sack. So I'm working backwards and starting over.

Here are my new goals:

1) I refuse to wear dumpy gym clothes. I work in retail right now and I can afford nicer, newer things because I deserve them. Working out doesn't have to feel dumpy.

2) I need new gym shoes. Something that can handle Zumba and like light running. I know nothing about shoes. I bought my last pair on clearance at Walmart, but they're horrible for Zumba.

3) I need to not judge myself. I need to love the part of myself that likes going to the gym.

4) I need to cut down on the classes. Healthy competition is good, but panic attacks are not! I usually start panicking before the classes, and then I only get through half because I mess up a step. I hate messing up, I took serious dance classes as a kid so I can't deal with failure.

5) I need to learn to fail. I need to have good days and bad days at the gym!

Did you ever fall off the wagon? How did you get back up? Leave me a comment, or suggestion and I'll write a post compiling them together in the next week. I'd love to hear from you.

xo,

C