Live Your Life #yolo

I know I've been gone awhile, and while I am not still quite sure what I am doing here to begin with maybe someone will take all my chaos and it will comfort them in some way. I just want people to know they aren't alone because Motherhood can become a prison if you're not careful.

That's not what a signed up for.



My life's been a bit crazy.

I took a last minute trip to Philadelphia in December, (my 2nd of the year). I got to see Miley Cyrus on her Dead Petz tour with the Flaming Lips, and spend time with one of my favorite people. I came home and then Christmas happened, that was nuts! I mean, it's been a great year. 2015 was just insane, but truthfully it's been about growing up. I got back to being myself. I got back to where I felt I should have started awhile ago, before I had Hunter.

Which is why we should discuss something here ....

Life before kids is interesting because there are so many blanks that you have to fill in on your own. You are basically this blank slate of open spaces, and you have endless choices. I don't regret becoming a Mom, or not being a perfect Mother, (no matter how harshly I judge myself at times). However I do regret one thing, and that is losing myself in becoming a Mother so much so that I lost sight of who I was. For future reference, this is not a healthy practice in any relationship.

When you're a child, you know your intermediate family; your parents, your siblings. You live in a bubble until you go to school, and then all of a sudden it's like the sky opens up and friends fall in. At first, its exhilarating! Those are your first conscience choices you make without the guidance of your parents and sure sometime,s they're based on silly things like; who has your favorite character lunch box or whose got a big play room. The point of that though is to exercise your mind on the subject of choice and the power that has over your life.

I used to paint. I used to sit in my room and read books, for hours. I loved making things out of paper, like little towns and stuff. Once I became a Mom, I got annoyed with those things about myself. Why would you possibly need to do that thing you love because there's dishes to be done, or laundry? So my interests weren't my own anymore, they were relegated back to space fillers. You don't have to stop traveling just because you have a child, with careful planning you can still get away. I do it a lot. Even if its just trips to see my friends, I get out of the bubble that I've made for myself.

As it stands now, I don't think I'm going to be one of those Mother's that always lives and breathes for her children. I love my child, but I've seen the other side of it too. The nasty underbelly of regret, and lost years, so much so that when your babies leave the nest some years later you have to completely relearn who you are because they were who you were. For my life, this is a decision I've made and that is to do what makes me the happiest. If I'm happy, then my boy will be happy.

It's short and sweet, but such is life and we've only got one.
Time to adventure.

xo,
C

How Not Giving A F*ck Changed My Summer, (and my life).

I'm typically a stickler for order and a sort of, controlled chaos. Ever since I became a parent, my life, personality, and dreams, have kind of taken a backseat which is the wrong way to go about things.  It is not as if I am saying you shouldn't make conscience changes for your children, or future children, (yes sorry, the binge drinking and Molly will need to fall back for now.) I decided to be my own guinea pig and simply take a more relaxed approach to my Summer activities. Nothing planned, no camps (except for Football at the end of Summer for H which is kind of mandatory), and no vacations that need months of prior planning to achieve maximum comfort.

"You should not need a vacation, after planning a vacation!"

-Logic

Here's a few things;
1. If you leave your children with grandparents or siblings, or some trusted adult who used to babysit you, STOP APOLOGIZING! LEAVE! They will not die, you certainly didn't. I understand if this is a new infant situation, but save it, you deserve liquor with an umbrella and your ass in a beach chair. Kiss and go honey!
2. For a brief second, I decided that I'd take up painting a cooler because I love Pinterest. I also joked that this was my Summer of Prep. Nope! Do you know how long it takes to paint a cooler? The steps involved, and the meticulous tracing. I can't even cut a circle with a round bowl as my stencil correctly. (I tip my hat to you sorority girls, where that idea spawned from ... sweet jesus.) Skip it! In fact, skip the cooler and eat at a restaurant. What's better than drunk you finding your leftovers? You're like your own fairy. It's kind of amazing!
3. Stop dieting on vacation! Unless you're sitting in front of Charlie Hunan, Chris Pratt, and Liam Hemsworth  and they've planned some kind of mass mating ritual later where you are the sacrificial virgin and you don't want to bloat. Maybe skip a crab cake? The likelihood of that situation actually happening is stupidly impossible. However, if you're with your girls or guys, hunting the D or the V, just be yourself! Drink all the liquor. Eat pasta. Embrace the carbs, and just live your life for 2-3 days. Don't make everyone else suffer in the name of Atkins, low-carb, no carb .... ugh.
4. On the other hand, don't overindulge in the spirits so much that you're a miserable asshat the next day. Stock up on bottled water, Motrin, and Tylenol, put on you big girl panties and ride the banana boat because it's the whole reason you booked your vacation. (I know you did, I would book for the same exact reason! Those people look so happy on the brochure. Who could be miserable on giant banana?)
5. Bring a mini cooler, because drinks at places are stupid expensive. You know what drinks I'm referring to, airplane bottles = BYOB>$$$$. Also you won't have to leave stuff at the beach because you can carry your bestie back to the room while toting said cooler, but it's also good for beer, in cans.
6. Do not buy the expensive towels! Buy one beach towel for yourself, whatever makes you happy. Invest in the $5 quick dry Walmart towels to put on seats and for emergencies. Just roll them up and put them in the trunk. I bought about 10, plus that I already had here and they have saved me many times.
7. Let your friends, spouses, and significant others make the plans sometimes. If they love you as much as they say, they will not bring you to vacation to the murder hotel, or god forbid, bring you some place that doesn't have hot water. They should know you better! Thankfully I did this, and it was the best vacation ever with my friends and this has been the best Summer ever because I let other people do stuff. That makes me less stressed, which makes me therefore more fun.
8. Be nice to the hotel people. All of the hotel people! This includes the maid, even if she comes in and blows cigarette smoke right in your face. The one resort vacation I booked, the reservations got kind of screwy but they put us in the best room, and it was steps from the beach. It was all because I was nice to the front desk lady, and kind, and she fixed everything. Kindness makes everyone happier, and better!
9. Stop taking pictures, and take in the moment! The less pictures I took this Summer the more I remembered. I still took silly instagrams, and made the usual panoramic of the beach with my iPhone, but mostly I had conversations. I sought out adventure and the path I discovered along the way made me feel more complete than all the monetary stuff in the world.
10. Go after one thing, whatever it is. Make that your one task. Not a diet. Do not try and lose 30lbs with this goal, just make a goal and go after it. If it's a person you haven't seen in awhile, or a city you have never visited, or do you want to zip-line. Make it your goal. Go for it! You deserve it, and you owe it to yourself to find that one thing that moves you forward toward something better.


I did splurge on some nicer hotels when I was in charge of reservations, but I also got to stay at some places off the beaten path which were worth it. I will remember the little motel we stayed at where my friend jumped out of the bushes and scared the bejesus out of us, more than the weird wedding party that happened at the resort. Although, that resort was awesome. (They had a dry line in the shower to hang your bathing suits... I mean! However, my guy friend did make fun of me because of the way I said resort.) I admit it, I'm a resort girl but I am sometimes in a forever state of wanderlust but I'm too scared to book the non-branded motel. This is something I'm working on!

I took a break this Summer, but I have lots to talk about. This year is going to be busy, travel filled, and amazing. Oh, and I got my dream camera ... so that helps :)

Cookin' Up Crates

I am a huge fan of grilling and cooking out. A necessary Summer activity, it's sort of spiraled into a hobby/obsession at this point that I'm very passionate about. Of course with the regular fare provided from potato salad, fried chicken, seafood, and BBQ in the Carolinas, I've come to prefer the classic Southern staples that makes these memorable feasts into actual parties.

Another thing I love is a perfectly curated setup that includes the basics, and guess what? They also make pretty amazing gifts!

Enter .... Man Crates.

Now I'm a girl, but even I love the rugged appeal of a gift you have to open with a crowbar and being able to give one makes you seem kind of like the coolest guys' girl ever.  Man Crates are affordable curated sets from lovers of jerky, to zombie preparedness, who love the no frills approach to gift giving and receiving. (You can even give them to your Dad!)

Blankets

I don't know a guy who'd admit that they wouldn't like a nice blanket to cover the ground while they feast, but a tartan picnic blanket up's your game while also looking snappy and cheerful. (Your significant other will also thank you for it!)

Waterproof Back Plaid Picnic Blanket $39.95
from Scotland Shop

I am in love with these waterproof picnic rugs from Scotland Shop. They're darling, and essential for resting between grilling or taking a break between rounds of beer pong. 

Glassware

Men don't drink out of plastic cups unless you're in the frat house, or at a tailgate, so it's time to update! Mason Jars are cute, practical, and multi-purpose. You can also pack anything in them, and they're good to the environment.

Mason Jar Shot Glasses $15
Set of 4
Burbon and Boots

These Mason Jar shot glasses are excellent for entertaining, and essential for holding things like condiments, homemade salad dressings, and alcohol. These particular one's from Bourbon and Boots come in a set of 4 for $15. That's a must for the crate!

Ketchup

When I think of quality condiments, look no farther than all-natural pork bacon ketchup. That's right! 

All-Natural Pork Bacon Ketchup $10
Heritage Farms
(Available at Burbon and Boots)

Made right here in North Carolina, (not too far from where I grew up), Heritage Farms has been making quality clothing and pork products for their boutique on Bourbon and Boots. I've actually bought bottles of this as presents, but this would be a huge hit for a BBQ Man Crate and it's a crowd pleaser! Who doesn't like bacon?

Being from North Carolina our pork BBQ is a delicacy. Now I'm biased, but vinegar based sauces are the best and only way to eat BBQ properly! In fact, I can whip up my own and have several times in a crockpot when we lived on the other side of the country for awhile. It's a must in the Summer around here.

I hope you enjoyed what I would put in my Man Crate, but tell me, what would you put in yours? Let me know in the comments!

xo,
C

27.

Print by InkistPrints. Available @ Etsy.

There is an uncertain amount of fear that you relinquish yourself to at the end of your twenties. Who am I? Where am I going? I ask myself these questions at least 20 times a day. Nervousness and apprehension makes up the bulk of the earlier years, as you rest on eventually what is practical. Your own impulses however, are an exercise in rebelliousness at its very best!

If you don't ask yourself these questions, simply embark upon the adventure, and for that sole purpose alone make it the life's work of your early twenties ... to explore. I've been on many adventures, not necessarily life changing one's but the spirit of the people who had already traveled my road inspired me to take risks. Reaching outside of my comfort zone, I got to see the part of the world that I only could have dreamed of.

I challenge you to do the same.

I turned 27 on Friday, March 20th, and I think for once, I've finally found home. I searched for it, but really this was the place all along. When I was younger NC was our refuge, a place for my parents to figure out their destructive marriage, where I was allowed to be a kid, but as a family it is where we became the closest. The Summers I spent here, at our grandmother's lake house, tucked safely into my aunt's waterbed when there were no extras, and the trips I took with all of us crammed into the car are some of my fondest memories. When I think back on all those times I fought it, that it was just this place my parents were able to call home although they were military brats and no place was ever really "home," I fancied putting together my little brick wall which would prevent me from settling for most of my life.

Now, I know what I want.

Except, I'm living in it. Scour. Search. Look far and wide, but know that home will hit all at once, or little by little, just like me. It is where your truth lies, and your courage will be it's deepest of brave.



xo,
C

Falling Off the Wagon

So was I the only one who tanked after Christmas on their diet that was going extremely well?

I didn't make New Year's resolutions this year, besides getting healthier and being happier. However, between the stresses of January and February; weather, traveling, work, and other things I kind of lost myself. 

I fell off the wagon.

I'm committed to going back to the gym. I'm committed to my smoothies, and a hardcore diet for the next few weeks because I would love to feel like a goddess on my birthday which is just a few weeks away. I'm not expecting monumental changes, but I just want to feel better. Thankfully I still have time, and more time afterward to get ready for Summer.

One of the reasons I think I stopped was the overwhelming feeling I get when I go to the gym and I literally feel like I'm the only fat girl there. (Yes, I see you lady judging me on the elliptical.) Gyms aren't just for skinny people though, and sure, I see a big girl once in awhile but it's rare so I started panicking in the car one day and I haven't been back since.

The sheltered life has kicked me in the face, yet again. I don't want to be like this in this body forever though. It's overwhelming shopping for clothes, and all my other friends can wear whatever they want and I have to wear a potato sack. So I'm working backwards and starting over.

Here are my new goals:

1) I refuse to wear dumpy gym clothes. I work in retail right now and I can afford nicer, newer things because I deserve them. Working out doesn't have to feel dumpy.

2) I need new gym shoes. Something that can handle Zumba and like light running. I know nothing about shoes. I bought my last pair on clearance at Walmart, but they're horrible for Zumba.

3) I need to not judge myself. I need to love the part of myself that likes going to the gym.

4) I need to cut down on the classes. Healthy competition is good, but panic attacks are not! I usually start panicking before the classes, and then I only get through half because I mess up a step. I hate messing up, I took serious dance classes as a kid so I can't deal with failure.

5) I need to learn to fail. I need to have good days and bad days at the gym!

Did you ever fall off the wagon? How did you get back up? Leave me a comment, or suggestion and I'll write a post compiling them together in the next week. I'd love to hear from you.

xo,

C

Valentine's: A Night Out

I've never been a big Valentine's Day person. Once in 7th grade this guy Michael bought me a teddy bear after dating me for a week, and then broke up with me the next day. Thankfully I got to keep the bear! This year I prepared, I planned a day/night out with my closest girlfriends.

Valentine's Day I decided to head to my hometown and hang with my friends, and spend the night out with some lively music from Jeffrey Lewis who was playing a show at an art gallery. I once saw him play in someone's living room when I was a young kid, and he's been my favorite live performer ever since. The most surprising part about being a modern Southern woman is that musically I've had the opportunity and have branched out a lot since my roots run deep with blues and rock n' roll. Thankfully Greenville, NC has provided that for me, and given me the culture that I craved, and kept me local instead of trying to escape the South.

The morning started with brunch. Biscuits from the Bojangles drive-thru, and mimosas' in the parking lot before we went to see 50 Shades of Grey. I'm still not entirely sure why we decided as a group to go see this movie, but it was entertaining. Jamie Dornan is of course my new girl crush, and I was already watching The Fall before I went to see movie so I was fully immersed in all of his attractive traits. I've never heard that many women sigh at the same time in unison. It was surprisingly funny, and sweet at points.

I decided to get my makeup done and I enlisted the help of my friend Meagan Wilson to help me, (pictures at the top). She's a professional freelance makeup artist, but I've known her since we were getting ready together for nights out when I was 19. It's pretty fantastic to see her as a growing professional, and if you're ever in Greenville I highly recommend her. Currently she does by appointment only consultations, but for Valentine's Day she did a special for a full face so I contacted her and set it up. She asked for a few pointers about my outfit, but really I just let her go crazy. The result was a punchy red lip, a new take on the smokey eye, and an amazing set of fake lashes to add onto my already long one's. It was perfect. I especially loved the glitter liner on the inner corners, because in the dark my eyes looked incredible! She is really incredibly talented, and so dedicated to her craft.

Jeffrey Lewis was great, and the night ended with me in bed happily asleep. Currently I'm nursing a wicked cold, but Valentine's Weekend was worth it! I had the best time with my friends and getting ready was fun again. I can't wait for my birthday.

xo,

C

Megan Wilson Makeup

Red Dress- Forever 21

How do you cozy?

I know it's a silly question, but it's essential to factor in how you survive during the cold winter months ahead of us before Spring blossoms those pretty little blooms. I know, I too am a Spring person! My birthday is actually the first day of Spring, but as I've grown older I've learned to embrace the cozy comforts of Winter while I rest and relax for my birthday.

First of all, every cozy girl in training needs candles! It just sets the mood. Some of my favorite Winter scents are currently on sale at places like Bed, Bath, and Beyond, and Yankee Candle. You know, the classic fireside candle to get you in the spirit for hot chocolate and late night talks? I actually prefer more basic scents like lavender and vanilla in the Winter, which I'm aware are odd choices considering the many amazing choices on the market. Lavender is extremely calming though, and Vanilla, in it's purest form just smells so comforting.

The next step is the blankets!

I have so many that I love it's virtually impossible to not include them when it's positively glacial outside and I'm in need of creature comforts. Inside I like my cocoon of warmth, and this is why I am such a big fan of the duvet. I currently live in an apartment so including decor pieces into our home is a hit or miss sometimes, I take into consideration basic things like blankets and covers so that I have the very best in those since they get used the most. More bang for your buck! I love companies that take into account those of us who suffer from allergies, (like my poor kiddo), so having down alternative comforters that can take multiple washings is something I look personally seek out. My current duvet was gifted to me, but I absolutely love this option from Parachute. It's practical, reasonably priced, and that baffle box construction makes me swoon, (it prevents bunching up of the fill on the inside)!

Lastly, at my core I'd like to pretend as if I'm a refined 26 going on 27 year old woman who drinks her coffee black and wears a business lady suit like a boss. I am not, however. I'm a working Mom, who sometimes hangs out with her friends and nurses tea, hot or cold, like it's my life force. Yogi Tea has the most delicious and soothing flavors. I'm a huge fan on their detox tea, and also, the Calming blend. They are the best!

I hope your Winter is cozy, snowy, and beautiful. Also check out Parachute Home by clicking on the photo, and by all means, invest in your comforts.

xo,

C